This is this month's Insecure Writers Group
post. On the first Wednesday of every month, writers post about their
doubts, struggles and triumphs. It's a safe haven for writers of all
I recently attended the World Fantasy Convention, and as always at these things I found myself vacillating between wide-eyed fanboyism (Brian Aldiss! Joanne Harris! Tim Powers!) and something approaching green-eyed despair. All these wonderful authors with their wonderful books and their wonderful covers! All these wonderful writing careers.
I'm guessing this is a set of reactions most writers will be familiar with. And I know it's madness to go round comparing yourself to people who have made it to the very top - or even to anybody, come to that. You have to blaze your own trail, tell your own stories. And fair play to anyone who manages to scrabble up the slippery glass slopes of writerdom I say.
I know all this, but still it hurts. A little voice says I should be there. I should have that pile of books waiting to be signed. I should be on that panel. And beacuse I'm not I've failed.
It's a horrible insecurity - but it at least has a couple of upsides. One, it reminds me just how important being a writer is to me. And two, my reaction is not to give in but to come out fighting. A bloody-minded determination to damn well show everyone what I can do...
Are these familair feelings for all writers? Or is it just me?
Aside from this FantasyCon was great, by the way. Except that my huge pile of books-to-be-read has doubled in size overnight...